this is a test

What happens after your picks only go 8-8 in the first week? You doubt yourself. And if not yourself, the voodoo shaman you consulted Sunday morning at 10:47 AM.

That’s right. Only 8 up and 8 down. Like 2 and 2/3 of a sergeant.
Come to think of it, the following could go 8 and 8/
Dartboard, ouija board, surfboard. (if he falls to port, take the underdog)

Week 2’s Hotly Unanticipated Picks
New England over Arizona – Cards good effort in week 1 unlikely to unseat the champs.
Indianapolis over Tennessee – Brown’s injury and the Colts rebound ability.
Baltimore over Pittsburgh – I’ll try to rebound with the Ravens mediocre offense.
Green Bay over Chicago – The Bears couldn’t beat a team without a road win in 3 years.
St. Louis over Atlanta – I’ll give the Rams a road win – Falcons still overrated.
Houston over Detroit – I know it’s crazy but the Lions don’t run or stop the run very well.
Tampa Bay over Seattle – Unless Shaun Alexander is healthy I won’t take the Seahawks.
Kansas City over Carolina – Chiefs make the NFC champs fall to 0-2.
Oakland over Buffalo – Two lackluster offenses – I’ll take the home opener for Oakland.
Denver at Jacksonville – Shocked by Griffin, I’ll take Denver until he snaps in two.
San Diego over NY Jets – Curtin Martin was nice week 1, but this is Tomlinson.
Dallas over Cleveland – 50 passes for Testaverde? If they do that again they won’t win.
Washington over the NY Giants – The disarray in NY doesn’t impress me one bit.
New Orleans over San Francisco – 49ers blew their chance to avoid a winless season.
Cincinnati over Miami – Even a QB change won’t save the Dolphins on the road.
Philadelphia over Minnesota – Eagles wins as Owens outshines Moss on national TV.

There you be – 16 games. Hopefully 16 winners.
Summary: NE, IND, BAL, GB, STL, HOU, TB, KC, OAK, DEN, SD, DAL, WAS, NO, CIN, PHI

The NFL is a great league for ‘what ifs’. The schedule is geared to allow the previous season’s 4-12 teams make the playoff while banishing last year’s 11-5 winner into an early golf game oblivion. Unlike baseball, where you know at least ten teams that absolutely cannot make the playoffs every year and you’re never wrong, in the NFL the Panthers can go from a 1-win season to the Super Bowl in just 48 months. Thus almost every team has a conceivable shot at the Super Bowl and, at a minimum, the playoffs.

So, a simple ‘what if’ question –
Name the ‘what if’ question that must be answered for each team to reach the Super Bowl?

AFC
New England: What if the NFL actually starts calling defensive secondary holding?

Indianapolis: What if the NFL cracks down on the Patriots secondary holding?

Kansas City: What if the defense could improve to the level of the offense?

Tennessee: What if the Titans replace Eddie George not as a runner but as a leader?

Baltimore: What if they team had gotten Terrell Owens and with him a passing game?

Cincinnati: What if Marvin Lewis is for real and his team follows his lead?

Jacksonville: What if the team continues to gel together and the veterans still have life?

Buffalo: What if either Henry or McGahee lead the league in rushing yards and this team manages, just for argument’s sake, the league average in interceptions?

New York Jets: What if this team emerges without injury against a weak schedule?

Houston: What if this team can learn to stop the run just once or twice?

Denver: What if Quentin Griffin, who is smaller than my sister, can take the beating of being Mike Shanahan’s featured running back?

Pittsburgh: What if a team that seemingly missed it’s shot rebounds for one last gasp?

Miami: What if losing Ricky Williams means the team focuses on the passing game, which they probably should have been doing all along anyway?

Cleveland: What if the Browns rush for more than one touchdown every other week?

Oakland: What if this team finds someone to catch the ball and rejuvenate Gannon?

San Diego: What if Tomlinson rushes for 2500 yards and it still isn’t enough?

NFC

Seattle: What if Hasselbeck and Alexander don’t get hurt and they don’t commit turnovers?

Philadelphia: What if Owens and Kearse are the missing pieces to the puzzle and this team can stop the run despite a slew of pre-season injuries?

Carolina: What if every game that ended in a miracle win last season ends the same again?

Green Bay: What if the Packers even find a defense and Brett Favre pull a Peter Pan?

St. Louis: What if Bulger really is the man and Martz really does know what he’s doing?

Minnesota: What if this team doesn’t fall apart like they did last season?

Tampa Bay: What if the Bucs find an offense that scores touchdowns and not field goals?

Dallas: What if the Cowboys new additions of Keyshawn (malcontent), George (underpaid and overworked) and Testaverde (see Blanda, George) can support a defense that’ll be hard-pressed to match last season’s numbers?

Detroit: What if the young talent, probably still a year away, emerges against a middle-of-the-road division and puts up some decent numbers?

Washington: What if Joe Gibbs can milk Clinton Portis like the Riggins of old?

New York Giants: What if a team that was on a roll before the Monday Night debacle against the Cowboys last season turns out not to be as bad as everyone made it sound?

New Orleans: What if this team doesn’t quit on its coach? [Ed. Note: I may be too late]

Chicago: What if a single offensive player makes a name for himself on this roster?

Atlanta: What if Michael Vick can carry this team by himself under a new coach?

San Francisco: What if letting Owens and Garcia get away was actually the smart move?

Arizona: What if Emmitt Smith plays like its 1994 and Fitzgerald is Rookie-of-the-Year?

—
You may have a noticed a pattern in the listing here. These questions come in my order of predicted finish for this season. I can see a repeat Patriots-Colts final and the Eagles back for a fourth straight try, this time against the Seahawks. New England and Philadelphia make it to Jacksonville for the Super Bowl and I’ll be annoying and choose the Pats, again.

Final ‘what if’ – What if When Al Davis dies (in about 2045) they cannot cremate him because his jumpsuit is made of space-age polymers that won’t burn. Same for his hair.

Is that so absurd, to take the reigning champ as the future winner? I didn’t think so.

What happens after your picks go 8-8 and then 9-7? You just keep after it.
After all, who could know the Chiefs would fold, the Lions emerge and the Packers bail?

With the bye weeks starting far too early, (week 3? Whatever) here’s hoping I do better.

Week 3’s Much Ignored and Even Less Desired Picks
Indianapolis over Green Bay – Tough Colts early schedule helped by first home game.
Atlanta over Arizona – I like what the Cards are doing, but not that much
Denver at San Diego – I am so tempted to take the Chargers, but I just can’t.
Seattle over San Francisco – Misery season hits week three for the 49ers.
Minnesota over Chicago – Don’t expect another turnover-filled miracle win for Bears.
St. Louis over New Orleans – The Rams are vulnerable, but not to the weak Saints.
Kansas City over Houston – Dangerous pick since the Texans can run the ball.
Tampa Bay over Oakland – Tampa’s defense is better, neither offense is good.
Philadelphia over Detroit – Philly’s McNabb-Owens connection builds more steam.
Baltimore over Cincinnati – Sorry Bengals, but the Ravens’ ‘D’ is just as good as Miami’s
Pittsburgh over Miami – Miami has no offense at all. Keep them winless.
NY Giants over Cleveland – Will Cleveland find more offense? Not this week.
Tennessee over Jacksonville – Low-scoring wins for the Jags come to a stop right now.
Dallas over Washington – Dallas is playing above themselves, and the hurt home team.

There you be – 14 games. Hopefully 14 winners.
Summary: IND, ATL, DEN, SEA, MIN, STL, KC, TB, PHI, BAL, PIT, NYG, TEN, DAL