So Zen-master Phil Jackson wants to abandon Grasshopper and return to coaching?

Interesting.

The argument against Phil is that he never won without Michael or Shaq or Kobe. True, but the Celtics were winning title after title for Red Auerbach he wasn’t exactly coaching Blair Rasmussen and Jon Koncak. Red had legit all-stars too and no one discredits him for that. Maybe some things get better with age. Like Celtic memory.

The question is – where would Phil coach if he did come back?

My odds…

Knicks 50 to 1
Sure he has history with the franchise but NY has a TON of dead weight, both in players and money tied into contracts. That team won’t be free to navigate and sign anyone for a long time. Phil wants to win now, thus, nix the Knicks.

Cavs 20 to 1
Coaching LeBron might be fun, but the rest of the team isn’t all-star. That team isn’t close to winning a title either and there’s no telling if the young Mr. James will still be in Ohio in two seasons. I don’t expect this to happen either. Phil wants to win soon, not when LeBron is 26.

Lakers 5 to 1
He tried this once. It worked…and didn’t work. Kobe wanted to run everything, so he ran Shaq and Phil out of town and the team tanked before the playoffs. The only reason I pick this one so high is the team stinks now, but isn’t permanently broken. Kobe was in charge – and they weren’t good. If Phil comes back and the Lakers win, Mr. Jackson gets all the credit. If they continue to lose he can always blame it on Kobe and leave again, working on another tell-all book.

Wolves 3 to 1
I consider this the favorite. KG is still viable, they can dump Cassell and Sprewell and make moves if they feel like it. The team is in a good position and until this season was a threat in the Western Conference. Next year? Denver won’t surprise anyone, neither will Phoenix, San Antonio will likely be worse and Houston may have taken their game as high as it’ll go. Minnesota could be in good position to make a move- with the right coach.

I don’t know if Phil would take the job in Minnesota – but it wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

Denver? Clarett could be a total bust. I guy some thought would not be taken and Denver takes him high. Sure, he might pan out. But a lot of players taken after him (like Marion Barber III or Stefan Lefors or …) might turn out better. They could have gotten Clarett later and a better guy sooner.

Denver also took cornerbacks with their first 3 picks.

3.

Remind me how many corners you have on the field in a 4-3 defense? Oh, yes, that would be 2. They have, by definition, drafted more players than can be used in the starting lineup. They should have just gone all out and drafted 3 punters too.

What grade do they get? If Clarett rushes for a bunch of yards three years from now I’ll give them an improvement but for now this rates a mess and a solid D. The only thing keeping them from an F was the smart trade for bonus picks (even if wasted) for Washington’s first-rounder next season. If Washington stinks that pick will be worth something – it might even rank high enough to pick a player than can make up for this year’s draft mess.

This only matters if there are no trades. Of course, there WILL be trades, thus I am completely covered and bear no pain or suffering if this is way, way off.

1. Smith, Alex; Utah, QB
2. Brown, Ronnie; Auburn, RB
3. Edwards, Braylon; Michigan, WR
4. Benson, Cedric; Texas, RB
5. Williams, Carnell; Auburn, RB
6. Rolle, Antrel; Miami (Fla), CB
7. Williams, Mike; USC, WR
8. Jones, Adam; W.Virginia, CB
9. Merriman, Shawne; Maryland, DE
10. Johnson, Derrick; Texas, LB
11. Barron, Alex; Florida State, OL
12. Cody, Dan; Oklahoma, DE
13. Rogers, Carlos; Auburn, CB
14. Rodgers, Aaron; California, QB
15. Spears, Marcus; LSU, DL
16. Johnson, Travis; Florida State, DT
17. Brown, Jammal; Oklahoma, OL
18. Clayton, Mark; Oklahoma, WR
19. Mathis, Jerome; Hampton, WR
20. Davis, Thomas; Georgia, S
21. Washington, Fabian; Nebraska, DB
22. Williamson, Troy; S Carolina, WR
23. James, Erasmus; Wisconson, DE
24. Crowder, Channing; Florida, LB
25. Ware, Demarcus; Troy State, DL
26. Cody, Shaun; USC, DT
27. Hawthorne, Anttaj; Wisconson, DT
28. White, Sharod; UAB, WR
29. Pollack, David; Georgia, DE
30. Smith, Alex; Stanford, TE
31. Barnes, Khalif; Washington, OT
32. Morrison, Kirk; San Diego State, LB

Scientists have transplanted a human hand on a dog. That way when he’s playing frisbee in the yard he won’t have to use his teeth.

Washington traded away this year’s 3rd round pick, next year’s first and fourth for Denver first round pick this year, a pick in the 20s.

What does that mean? It means that Joe Gibbs isn’t going to be coaching the Washingtonians beyond this coming season.

In a draft with little punch but plenty of depth, Gibbs has made a trade that capitalizes on neither. At present Washington picks both 9th and 25th. At present he doesn’t pick high enough to get Antrel Rolle, who they need, or (likely) either receiver. What Gibbs did manage to do is gain a late round pick for a defensive lineman of which there will be plenty in the late 1st/early second rounds. He could have gotten the same quality picked 45th as 25th when it comes to DL.

Gibbs is selling out to win this season. Maybe Dan Snyder told him that a 7-9 season will mean the big goodbye. That’s the only reason I can see for it.

That is…unless they trade again.

Don’t even take a QB in the first round.

That’s my advice. Everyone gets excited about a ‘franchise’ quarterback, but those quarterbacks only make good on the promise half of the time. If you have the first pick in the draft you had darn well perform better than a 50-50 proposition.

Recent first round QB picks that stunk out the joint (Not counting picks too recent to tell) … Tim Couch, Akili Smith, Cade McNown, Ryan Leaf, Jim Druckenmiller, Heath Shuler, Rick Mirer…

That’s a pretty impressive list of ‘franchise’ quarterbacks. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just sign a free agent, someone who has proven they can play in the league? Seems to me that makes more sense than spending the first pick of the entire draft on a guy who might pan out.

That’s just me though, I don’t get paid for this stuff. If San Francisco takes a QB from either Cal or Utah he might be a bona fide stud. Then again, he might be Ryan Leaf – and nobody wants that.

The NFL Draft has been called the best ‘non-sports’ sporting event. I agree.

The draft provides so many great opportunities for humor. So many great things to see.
I like, in no particular order…

Seeing the look on a player’s face when, instead of being selected 4th, he’s still sitting in the green room at pick number 13. The schadenfreude-deer-in-headlights is just unbelievable.

Seeing those dopes at the table on the floor. The whole job is to sit at a cheap card table with a helmet on a stick and answer the phone. They don’t get to decide anything, they don’t participate…nothing to do at all but sit there and wait for the camera to pan by. I seriously expect to see those some guys playing tic-tac-toe until Henry Fonda knocks the paper away.

Seeing the chaos when some team, and there always is one, takes a crazy player at the sixth pick and everyone else’s draft is thrown into a tizzy cos there’s suddenly someone better available. I just adore seeing the announcers and front offices scramble like a fire drill trying to decide what to do. Classic entertainment. And you don’t even have to watch it on fast-forward – those people are freaking out in real time.

Seeing the cheezy photo opportunity when a drafted player who will soon be making millions puts on a $7.49 ball cap and smiles next to the Commissioner.

Seeing (and hearing) the Jets fans go ballistic at their draft pick, no matter who it is. You could poll the Jet fans, get the consensus of whom they wanted, the Jets front office could select that very player and STILL the Jet fans would boo. Primates, I tell you, primates.

Seeing the NFL Draft Drinking Game in action.
Here’s how it works.
Drink if you hear any of the following:
Brings to the table, upside, warrior, two-way player, intangibles, over-achiever, big heart.

I promise you’ll fall off the couch and hit the floor, drunk as a skunk, in less than 2 hours.

The NFL draft is fun for everyone who loves waiting 15 minutes between significant events. I seriously believe that Andy Warhol was in charge of the first televised draft – no one waits more than 15 minutes for their fame.