Episode III was good, why couldn’t episodes I and II be this good?

Notes: Did Natalie Portman have any scenes outside her apartment until the last scene of the movie? For crying out loud all she does for 120 minutes is walk around the house saying “How was your day dead? They should have given her a damn vacuum cleaner and a dust mop.

And the lava planet? Who builds a home base on a planet of molten lava? Nobody with a brain.

Here’s what I think… Mike and the blonde girl who died had a kid while she was in rehab in Utah and Paul Young and Mary Alice stole him and took off and Mike follwoed Paul to that street. Thus, the squirrelly kid in glasses? The amateur pyro and time-bomb boy? That’s Mike’s son. Maybe.

Star Wars is upon us which means one thing.

So is the marketing.

Star Wars, the soda, the toys, the candy, the dolls, the internet phone, the everything…

So why not a baseball team?
What not buy a minor league baseball team and name them after a Star Wars icon?
Why not name a team the Tulsa Jedi or the Tidewater Wookies? Why not take advantage of year-round media access, get people saying the name Jedi every single day of the summer. Why should Star Wars only last for a month every three years?

Okay, Tony broke the rules. Never so profoundly profess your love for someone right before a mission. That means you’re the guy who is gonna get killed. Oh well.

How many times has Marwan gotten away when he should have been captured? 5? 12? 42? Seriously, Vosloo is a cool name but it’s not a -magic- name. Get real. If you have snipers outside the building to rescue you after you got captured it means you also had them outside the building when the good guys were going in to get you…and they did nothing? That’s a gap in logic, people.

Chloe was born moping.

Why did Marwan show the launch of his missile on videolink? If he had a regular screensaver like everybody else no one would have even known he’d launched his -stealth- nuke. Stealth! They call it stealth because when you launch if you DON’T WANT IT FOUND. What better way to make that happen than to NOT TELL PEOPLE YOU LAUNCHED IT? Seriously, that makes no sense. Is he working on home movies? America’s Funniest Terror Attack Videos? I hope Jack doesn’t stop the nuke but in an error of trajectory the nuke only destroys Burlap, North Dakota, population 71.

What’s it like being a bass player for Hilary Duff?

Seriously, is that a claim to fame? What guy wants his greatest resume moment to be playing lead on Tiffany’s Greatest Hits?

I haven’t heard the guitar player for Debbie Gibson come forward and admit it. Do these people have long-term careers? Do they cut a solo album? They probably know their careers are not exactly reaching Stevie Ray Vaugn heights. I’d imagine they are just happy to be playing every day on the road and getting paid for a couple of years.

All of the fall shows are coming to season finale fun, which means chaos.

First…I don’t care who wins Survivor. Every single season of that show is the same as every other season so quit wasting our time. In fact, just show something from two years ago next fall and I’m sure no one will know the difference.

Lost? Good show, but I see it like Twin Peaks. Eventually people will need some secrets revealed and once they are…bam, rating hit. Desperate Housewives has a better survival chance, since you can introduce new characters and new back stories and the characters can go forward differently. Get a job, lose a job, get a spouse, lose a spouse…most of this can’t happen on lost.

Revelations…I like it, but it’s almost over and I still don’t know where it’s going.

24 – always good, always reliable. Jack may end up a fugitive from everyone Chinese on the planet. That’ll make for an interesting season next year. I think Tony’s gonna get killed too. I don’t know why, but I do. He’ll say “Michelle, I still love you, I feel….“