Top Ten Ways the Pope Unwinds
10. Needlepoint
9. Trick-shooting with his Colt .45s
8. Sprinning in Ibiza under the name DJ Dizzy Pontiff
7. Online Texas hold’em
6. Watching Caddyshack. The Catholic Church disavows any knowledge of the existence of Caddyshack II.
5. Designing a Vatican City version of ‘Monopoly’
4. His daily morning talk show “Live! With Regis and Kelly and the Pope.”
3. After declaring it’s creation ‘a miracle’, he had the first ever Space Invaders machine moved to his private library for ‘holy research purposes’.
2. Texts his choices for American Idol. ALL. DAY. LONG.
1. He sleeps more hours than a housecat.
