“You know how hard it is to get clown makeup off a bone saw?”

High quality writing.

10. Jon & Kate Plus 8, but only on weekends and alternating holidays.

9.  Jon & Kate Plus 8 Plus Jon’s new girlfriend Sherry.

8.  Jon & Kate Plus Block, Sharpe and Levine, LLC.

7. Jon & Kate Plus 8 Plus a room divided by masking tape.

6. Jon & Kate Plus bitter resentment

5. Jon & Kate Plus 8 Plus Kate’s new girlfriend Sherry.

4. Jon & Kate Minus 8 cos the kids cited irreconcilable differences.

3. Jon Plus 24 hours of uninterrupted silence.

2. Jon & Kate Plus 8 Plus a speedy reconciliation in order to keep their million dollar show on the air.

1. Jon & Kate Plus 8 Join the Octomom Plus 14 in secluded anonymity.

So… I guess now it’s Jon and Kate Plus 8,… but only on weekends and alternating holidays.

The US Dept of Homeland Security believes their best shot at catching Osama Bin Laden is to nab him when he tries to cash in his free birthday dessert at Applebee’s.

Hannah Montana is the Disney Channel’s most successful program ever, surprassing Leroy Illinois and Monte Vermonty.

If you stacked up all the Oreo cookies in the world – you’d really be missing the point.

People licked the backs of postage stamps for 11 years before the Postmaster General got the idea to put glue back there.

The record for most appearances on Hollywood Squares is held by Paul Lynde.  In 2nd place- Fidel Castro.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the US will never be a force in international soccer until they figure out how to win a road game.  Really.  I’m just saying.  When was the last time the US won a meaningful road game against a side tougher than Bouvet Island.

Got some mad hail here at work.  I have always been amused by hail.  Water too big to fall fromthe sky so it freezes and tumbles around in the clouds over and over before looking for an unsuspecting windshield.