Wait a minute – was that the US team actually doing something… clutch?  I’m not sure the national team has come through when it needed it most, perhaps ever.  Congrats to them and a matchup with (likely) either Germany or Serbia. 

You can never really feel bad about making it out of the group stage -no matter what comes next.

I cannot believe the break the USA just got.

For anyone who wants to hear that sound all the time…

www.boogieblast.co.za/

Seriously, what’s with the uniforms?  We got sideways stripes, solids, numbers and the back is stripes, then a space for the number and then stripes again.  The Kansas City Kings had a better kit than this. The Denver Broncos’ vertical striped socks were better than this.  Honestly, I have played for co-ed softball teams with a nicer look.

From the people who brought you the ‘Jersey Shore’ comes ‘Utah Shore’, from the coastline fo the Great Salt Lake.  See a group of 20-something friends who got married at 21 and had 3 kids by 25.  With skin colors ranging from pale to translucent, they don’t drink alcohol, smoke, wear short pants and can’t touch caffeine.  Enjoy their hilarious adventures as the group stays up past 8 pm, the women try to wear a tank top in public without being arrested and the boys bypass Playboy magazine for the Book of Moroni.

If you love Jersey Shore but hate drunks, cursing, orange women and kids who can’t dress themselves= you’ll LOVE Utah Shore.   Coming soon to Animal Planet.

Yeah- in my Major League debut I stuck out 14, walked none, gave up 4 hits in 7 innings and stuck out the last 7 guys I faced while hitting 101 mph a few times along the way.  Yepper, that’s exactly what I did. Struck out 14, stuck out the side on 11 pitches, got the win – this is exactly what happened to me.

Yesterday I saw someone wearing a Denver Broncos Travis Henry jersey.

I’m trying to decide – do you think they respect Henry for fathering 9 children with 9 different women
-or-
do they respect him for being arrested for financing a cocaine trafficking ring?

Tough choice.

Top Ten Messages I Want Jeff Goldblum to Leave on my Answering Machine.

10. Bitch, please!

9. I am the living model of a modern major general

8. You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.

7. Who wants pie?

6. Obsequious

5. Have you met Ted?

4. The atomic number of Thulium is 69

3. Oh, snap!

2. Does this miniskirt make my butt look big?

1. Bazinga

“We’re going to extract the tooth.”