According to the upcoming Fox tv show ‘Terra Nova’, some time in the next 100 years the pollution is gonna be so bad that we’re all gonna die. What’s the solution? We’re gonna send people back in time 100 million years and, since they will have an intimate knowledge of what not to do, the human race will be saved! Hooray!! We are saved- wait, saved? We are? How exactly? What difference does that make?

How does sending 1000 people to live 100 million ago save us now? That makes no sense. What if there’s a suddent disaster that wipes out the continent any time in 100 million years? What if there’s a diease back then we can’t cure? What if it is really cold? This is more than stupid.

I’m not going all-out butterfly effect on you, but if the pollution is bad, why not go back 100 years and stop the guy who figured out that putting lead in gas stops engine knock (and destroys the air) or putting CFCs in the freezer makes it work (and destroys the ozone layer). Why not fix the actual problem? If the problem is pollution, just go back 100 years and prevent pollution! Go back and invent the 100 mpg hybrid/solar car in 1955 and get Don Draper to promote it. Go back and take over the Presidency in 1962 and initiate every environmental reform necessary to save the rain forest. Go back strategically and un-invent every nasty thing that ruins the future.

What kind of future do we have where time travel is possible but sucking up pollution isn’t?

If you want to make a dinosaur show, just make one; this idea doesn’t track in any timeline.

The CW has a show called “H8R”.

There is a cluster of reasons to hate this show, not the least of which is the improper spelling of the show title. This isn’t ‘thirtysomething’ being different by going e.e. cummings – this is stupid pretending to be trending, and it isn’t.

Next reason – Mario Lopez as a host. How logical to have someone who is famous without legit talent host a show about other people who are famous without talent.

The premise? Famous people get a bum rap from non-famous people who go online to websites and blogs and claim, rightly so, that these famous people do not contribute to society and need to go away. The show brings the famous and non-famous together.

At this point you might think “Yeah, now the loser famous person will get what they deserve!” but you’d be wrong. The point of the show is, amazingly, to DEFEND the useless famous person. I guess it isn’t enough for idiot “I’m a Pilot” Jake from the Bachelor to ruin that show, now he’s on another show. The true test of power – devastating two networks at once.

A program primed to show us all that unfairly rich and famous people need to be cut a break. It’s the reverse of Robin Hood – the poor are brought to the rich and told to be nice to them. Screw that and screw Mario ‘Sheriff of Nottingham’ Lopez.

This show is stupid, the people on it are stupid and whomever in power that decided this idea warranted more than a discarding laugh was especially stupid. Please do not watch this show.

Who is Steele Jantz?

a) the cop played by Brian Bosworth in “Stone Cold”
b) the fake company Jennifer Garner worked for on “Alias”
c) the starting quarterback for Iowa State University.

Did you see the Jags cut Garrard to save and not pay his $9 mil salary?
They will start the rotting corpse of Josh McCown at QB and make Blaine Gabbert come off the bench.

Interesting fact – 50% of the Jags roster didn’t know Josh McCown was still in the NFL, 49% mistook him for Cade McNown and the other 1% wanted to know why the team cut the guy who played Buck Rogers on tv.

Five years ago I give you these two choices.

a – in 2011 US citizens will pool their money and, after giving 40 million to charity, everyone gets a turn beating Michael Vick with a stick.
or
b – in 2011 Michael Vick will have a 100 million contract, with nearly 40 million of it guaranteed.

How many would select ‘b’? I imagine it would not be everyone.

Did the Big Ten name their splits ‘Lame Name’ and ‘Lamer Name’? And how are they grouped? There is no North-South or geographical split.

If you have ‘Leaders’ and ‘Legends’, does the new Nebraska entry become a leader? They should end up ranked higher than any other conference foe except Wisconsin. Then again, maybe they are a Legendary team. Who knows? Just tell me if tOSU and Michigan are in the same division.

Can someone tell me the difference between Anna Kournikova and Danica Patrick?

Both are good enough at their sport to beat the average person, but not good enough to be #1 against other professionals.
Both are attractive, but not so hands-down-gorgeous that they could stop passing traffic and win awards.
Both are pleasant enough, but not so compelling or engaging that you’d have time to hear them interviewed with regularity.

What is the deal with every new thing having zombies in it? The number of movies, books, tv shows, trailers, ideas, Girl Scout Troops, Carnival Cruises… (the last two I approve of) is staggering. I admit that “28 Days Later” took zombies into a new light, but ‘I Am Legend’ featured skinny albinos that represented the infected and it just didn’t work. Most other zombie material seems pretty darn unoriginal. Moaning, limping, missing half your body…. Seen it! Walking around, unable to communicate? Heard it!

Every ‘Resident Evil’ movie – how many humans are left? Why don’t these zombies just die on their own? Just lock every human in a deep hole with some food for 2 years and wait it out. The zombies will get bored and just kill each other or join undead flashmobs or learn mime.

We’re getting to the point where there are so many zombies that actually interesting ideas like ‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’ get lost in the jetsam.

If this show was made ten years ago it would star Adrian Pasdar and Justin Long.

How can you have Final Destination 5? 5? What part of the word -final- don’t you get? That would be the same as making a movie called ‘The Bourne Conclusion’ and then making another movie after that. At least it made some sense then there was ‘The Neverending Story Part 2′, because, after all, the story never ends. I’d have been surprised if there wasn’t a sequel.

Final Destination has killed people with cars, planes, explosions, stabbed people, strangled people, killed kids with airgas, wires, flying shards of glass, falling from heights, being killed by something else that fell from heights and decapitated any number of ways. It’s like Mad Libs for murder.
“In the opening scene of ‘Final Destination 6′ (character name) will be feeding their pet (animal) when they slip on (any liquid) in the kitchen and land on a (sharp object) in the dishwasher. They will only be hurt, until the (kitchen appliance) falls off the counter and lands on their head.”