Stupid Sports » Stupid

SB Pick

Tim — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:26:18 +0000

I know a lot of folks are picking the Giants, but the problem with counting on the Giants’ pass rush being effective is the Pats play such a short passing game anyway, unless you can sack Brady in 1.2 seconds, he’s gonna hit someone on a 5 yard hook every time.

I think both teams can score, but there will be more running plays than expected and thus a shorter game. Take the under and I’ll take the Pats to cover by more than people think. New England takes their fourth title 28-20.

Other prop bets…
How long into the halftime show until I am bored with Madonna? 39 seconds.
Over/under : Number of commercials that actually make me laugh out lout? 3.5
Over/under : Number of commercials with a completely improper sexual undertone? 3.5
Number of commercials featuring domesticated animals? 77.
Over/under : Number of commercials for The Voice? 77.
Over/under : Number of commercials for The Voice that don’t show unsettling Christina cleavage? 0.5

Promise me this…

Tim — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 20:45:07 +0000

In a couple of years can we just call it Super Bowl 50? Who wants to see Super Bowl L ? Please, save us, someone.

Fix the Pro Bowl

Tim — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:50:13 +0000

We need to face it – the Pro Bowl, as you have noticed, stinks to high heck. Nobody plays defense, half the selected players don’t want to play and the game is more XBox then Double X Man coverage. Something needs to be done to avoid this misery any longer.

First issue – the players don’t want to go. I don’t blame them – the season is over, you can get hurt, no ramifications. It’s easy to see how they would feel that way.

First fix – I only want players in a game that care or will try. Ever watch the 4th quarter of a pre-season game? You have if you want to see guys fighting for their pro lives to get on the squad. My solution – don’t compel players to play. As much as I want to see Drew Brees, if he isn’t going to give 100% I’d rather have someone who will.

Second issue – no defense. Barely any blocking, no hard hits. The last time a guy got tackled hard in the Pro Bowl was probably the last time Lyle Alzado was in the game. (side note – cooler name than Alzado? I dunno, I like it a lot.)

Third issue – the scoreboard lights up like a Christmas tree due to lack or coverage, blitzing and pressure.

Solutions to 2nd and 3rd issues? Award points for defensive plays. I know, it’s not real football. New flash – neither is this nonsense. Give points for a QB sack give a point for making the other team punt. I don’t know how the scoring would work, but I do know that playing against a defense that doesn’t try is like lining up the Giants against my old junior high – cruel and pointless.

Top Ten Signs you are not going to be nominated for an Oscar

Tim — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:13:45 +0000

10. Your movie stars a rooster – but it is not animated.

9. The key plot twist involves making exact change at 7-11.

8. Your story is about a dream within a dream within someone else’s dream within a dog’s dream.

7. Your lead photographer only uses Polaroids and then flips them in a kinescope.

6. You cannot pronounce the letter ‘G’ without giggling.

5. When the director tells you to ‘hit your mark’, you drop to one knee and punch the floor.

4. Your longest directorial film lasts 2 minutes and 13 seconds and it is on your cellphone.

3. The fashions are anything found on your closet floor.

2. Your name is Osama.

1. You couldn’t get Johnny Depp; instead, your film stars Donny Jepp.

NFL Divisional Playoffs

Tim — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 16:17:30 +0000

I know Houston’s QB is a rookie, but that’s not such a big deal to me. I don’t trust Flacco even though he has a good won-loss record and Baltimore can’t throw as well as the Bengals last week. I think it will be a close game but I will take the gamble and take the Texans in a road upset 16-14.

The Giants come off the win against overrated Atlanta and travel to the rested Green Bay. Giants can run, they have momentum and Eli Manning has gone for weeks without showing the ‘Eli Manning Face’ ™. 7 1/2 points seems like a lot but I will go the other way and give it. Take the Packers early and often, 42-20.

The 49ers don’t have much of an offense and a great defense. The Saints have a great offense and no defense. That makes for a lower scoring game. While that should benefit the home team I just like the Saints ability to move the ball more. Close, short game goes the bayou way, 20-17. If in doubt, I will pick the team that can actually move the ball when they need to.

If Denver loses by a lot will the Tebow people shut up? No, and that’s fine. Does God want Tebow to win? Well if God cared about it wouldn’t Tebow be the one married to the supermodel wife and not TT? Tom Brady is a chosen one as well. Denver can’t stop New England, but New England can’t stop anyone else either. Lots of scoring and I am looking for the back-door cover. 13 or 14 points seems to many to give. I’ll take the Patriots to win, but in a closer match, 42-31. This game above the others depends on Denver not fumbling.

Denver back in

Tim — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 01:42:02 +0000

I swear for 3 hours during that Bronco game I heard an incessant beeping sound. The sound of someone backing into the playoffs for 3 hours. I am curious to know the last time a team scored 3 points at home in the final game and still backed into a playoff spot.
I am also wondering why the NFL is all right with the notion of 8-8 Denver hosting 12-4 Pittsburgh in the playoffs. Yeah, that seems fair – way to show the importance of the regular season – by completely making it pointless.

The current word on Tim Tebow’s passing game? He’s afraid to throw, he can’t lead a target, he takes to long to decide and can’t check off to anyone other than the first guy he looks at. Other than that, he’s great.

Colts solution

Tim — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 18:43:24 +0000

If you are the Colts and you actually have faith in Peyton and want to use him next year, they have inexplicably found a way to avoid the whole ‘do we draft Luck’ decision and hurt his feelings – don’t finish last.

If St. Louis finishes last, they won’t take Luck because they are invested into Bradford.
If the Vikings finish last, it is unlikely they would take Luck- they spent last year’s #1 on a QB.
The Colts don’t even need to take Luck. At this point I’d say just go with Manning and draft for any of your multiple varied needs. There will be fewer QBs to draft next year, but there will not be zero, see Barkely, Matt.

If they show loyalty to Peyton and he gets hurt again next season, no one will criticize their faith in a Hall of Fame player. It gives him a chance to take a graceful bowout (and insurance payout) to retire and then they are in the same boat as this season, but without the negativity.

If I finish first, I am doing everything I can to trade this pick for as much as I can if I have anyone on the roster who is already a decent QB.

MWC in BCS

Tim — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 17:54:54 +0000

Reportedly the Mountain West football teams will ask for an automatic BCS bid soon. Clearly they don’t deserve it, especially with Boise, TCU, Utah and anyone else of value vacating the premises faster than a narc in Sturgis. It could, however, be the precedent for the class action suit they might decide to file. If you force the MWC, C-USA and WAC and Sun Belt to participate in a system that by definition, even if somewhat fairly, bans then from sharing in the profits with no possible chance at the winnings, you are gonna get sued. No MWC school after this season will belong in a BCS game, but they deserve it just as much as the Big East has deserved it for the last decade. If you don’t have a playoff, you gotta let these teams at least think they have a chance to get in.

NFL Playoff Predictions

Tim — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 17:36:48 +0000

Based on how teams are playing now…
AFC: New England and Houston get the bye, Steelers host the Jets and Broncos host the Ravens. BAL has tie over PIT, but tougher road.
NFC: GB and New Orleans get a bye, Niners host Lions and the Giants host Falcons. The Giants win on Sunday may have clinched the East.

If the NFL abolished the conferences for the playoffs like I want them to do, the playoffs would instead be this…
Packers, Saints, Patriots and Texans get the bye. Steelers host Lions, Ravens host the Giants, 49ers host the Jets and Falcons host the Broncos. Now that makes for some exciting matchups.

http://espn.go.com/nfl/playoffs/machine

CFB National Title Matchup

Tim — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 18:13:45 +0000

If Arkansas manages to beat LSU at the season’s end and if Oklahoma manages to win a bedlam- Stillwater matchup, our choices for the National title game are …
Arkansas, with a loss but a win over LSU.
Oregon, with a loss to LSU but a win over Stanford.
Oklahoma, with a loss to Texas Tech (dropping like a rock) and a win over Oklahoma State.
LSU, with a loss to Arkansas but wins over both Oregon and Bama.
Alabama, with a loss to LSU and not even a division win (must less conference).
Stanford, with no premiere win and a loss in the spotlight to Oregon.
Oklahoma State, with wins over ranked teams but a loss to the Sooners in their biggest game.
Clemson, with a loss to GT, ranked wins early and nothing to speak of lately.
and
Houston, unbeaten, yet only playing mediocre teams and beating them all by 50.

VT’s loss to Clemson removes them, as does Boise’s loss to TCU.

I’m glad I don’t need to make this call. Would a Razorback win over LSU overcome both of LSU’s wins over the Ducks and Tide? Does the OU-OkSt winner automatically find a place in the big game? The BCS backers haters are going to have a hard time saying we don’t need a playoff if we finish with 7 qualified 1-loss teams and an unbeaten Houston. Looks like a good 8-team playoff to me!