How can you have Final Destination 5? 5? What part of the word -final- don’t you get? That would be the same as making a movie called ‘The Bourne Conclusion’ and then making another movie after that. At least it made some sense then there was ‘The Neverending Story Part 2′, because, after all, the story never ends. I’d have been surprised if there wasn’t a sequel.

Final Destination has killed people with cars, planes, explosions, stabbed people, strangled people, killed kids with airgas, wires, flying shards of glass, falling from heights, being killed by something else that fell from heights and decapitated any number of ways. It’s like Mad Libs for murder.
“In the opening scene of ‘Final Destination 6′ (character name) will be feeding their pet (animal) when they slip on (any liquid) in the kitchen and land on a (sharp object) in the dishwasher. They will only be hurt, until the (kitchen appliance) falls off the counter and lands on their head.”

In n Out burger has a litany of secret menu options and ordering rules and the only people who know them are the ones on the inside – the menu is a weapons-grade-guarded secret and you can only glean info by eavesdropping or by someone at InO management pulling you into the fold.

Kinda like Scientology. Can I order my Thetan Burger double-double-animal style?

Funny, I thought the final season of Entourage was back in 2007 when I stopped watching the show like 90% of everyone else.

When did we reach the point where everyone says ‘literally’ 5 times in every 8 minute conversation? Please stop. Half of you aren’t using it correctly and the other half use it too often. Just knock it off.

Is it just me or is that Harry Potter kid nerdier now than he was 8 movies ago?

Why is it that some people can’t just accept a goal in the 122nd minute as a great moment? Do we need to immediately rank it? Are we required to compare it to every other great sports moment? It should be sufficient to say it was great and leave it be.

Was it the best moment ever? No. First, it’s in a quarterfinal game. The best moments almost always are in the last game.
Also against it – it didn’t win the game. It’s difficult to see anything that doesn’t win or lose the game as the best moment. You can really help yourself if the final shot/kick/catch/throw/run wins the game. Note to soccerheads – bring back the golden goal, will ya?
There’s always a rush to take the most recent action and rate it 10 times higher than it should be considered so check back with me in a month and see if anyone can give the names of anyone involved.

For anyone who is a fan of the Bill Simmons podcast, his guest this week Chris Connelly stole the Psi Phi Audio Segment titled “Hypothetical Movie Reviews”. Maybe didn’t steal so much as mention the same idea. Anyway, good to see our idea was good enough for someone as smart as CC to copy/use/do. You need to get deep into the podcast to hear it, but it is there.

http://www.grantland.com/podcasts

http://search.espn.go.com/uni-watch/

I love that ESPN actually features a page about changes, great and small, to uniforms in sports.

Competitive eaters, people who endorse competitive eating, people who coined the phrase competitive eating, people who think competitive eating is a real thing to be talked about, people who cover competitive eating as if it were a sporting event.

In general I like what ESPN does, but not without fail. This gar-bage is a tragic, epic fail. Not a sport, not interesting, not smart and not something we should encourage in human behavior. Give them all a beating please.

Now that our national crisis has concluded and the NBA Finals are over and ‘the Association’ has released its short-hair grip on our world, we have the unique opportunity to sit back, exhale and survey our surroundings.

What have we seen? Miami didn’t win the title and that made many people very happy. LeBron James acted like a spoiled brat in post-series interviews so that made many people very happy too. And now the season is over and a pending labor dispute may prevent another season from muddling the tv waters in 3 months so that’s a happy thought as well.

What have we learned? Don’t declare you’ll win 7 championships if you haven’t won 1 yet. Don’t act like you feel sorry for leaving the city you clearly were happy to leave. Don’t forget to show up and play in the fourth quarter. (LBJ – I know the Stanley Cup Finals were going on, but THEY play 3 periods and you play 4, try to remember)

Dallas had never won before, so good on them.